Men can spend a lot of time deliberating over what the right thing to say is – When in reality, flirting is much more about body language. In fact, psychologists have attributed as much as 90% of communication to body language. Flirting is no different.
You can say all the right words, but without the right body language, they simply won’t make an impact. On the other hand, with killer body language, something as simple as “hi” can feel like a lightning bolt of attraction to a woman.
That’s the reason why you can’t just read a bunch of pickup lines to a woman and expect results. Flirting and attraction goes a lot deeper than that. You have to exude the right qualities through your voice and your body if you want to attract a woman.
Here’s how to project strong flirting body language.
Eye Contact
We’ve all heard the saying that the eyes are the windows to the soul. While this may or may not be true, eye contact plays a big part in body language. Women use eye contact to gauge your level of confidence, dominance and to get an overall sense of who you are. In less than 5 seconds, using just eye contact, women can tell a lot about you.
When you first meet a woman, try to maintain eye contact for about three seconds. Any less and it seems like a furtive glance. Any more and it might seem creepy. About three seconds of strong eye contact conveys confidence and that you’ve got nothing to hide. A lot of nonverbal communication can happen in three seconds of strong eye contact.
Take Up Space
Dominant men take up physical and psychological space. On the other hand, submissive men tend to shrink down and avoid taking up space.
The ability and willingness to take up space shows confidence. It shows women that you’re not afraid to be seen. It also conveys that you deserve attention and that you’re not afraid to express yourself in the world. These are all attractive traits.
Posture
Another flirting body language feature to pay attention to is posture. Posture is very difficult to change in the moment. Instead, it’s something you should start working on regularly. Change how you hold your body on a normal basis and you’ll change how you hold your body when you’re around women.
Look straight ahead rather than look down. Walk with your chest up and shoulders back. Remove your hands from your pockets and don’t fold your arms. All of this helps create a confident yet open atmosphere about you.
Breathe deeply. Deeper breaths convey power. It’s one of those subtle cues that are difficult to fake. Breathing deeper also helps deepen and strengthen your voice, another powerful cue.
Gestures in Conversation
Flirting body language includes the gestures you make when you’re talking to someone. The gestures you make in conversation should be deliberate and should be used to accentuate a point. Use it to command the space around you and paint pictures of what you’re talking about.
Avoid using gestures to fill space. Nervous ticks and movements for the sake of moving convey discomfort, a major turnoff for women.
These are some of the most important ways to use your body during flirting. Some of these things can be shifted while you’re actually in conversation with a woman. However, many body language habits really need to be instilled before you actually talk to a woman.
Make it a daily habit to work on one area of your body language. For example, for three days you might deliberately work on taking up more space. Then three days after that, work on breathing deeper and speaking slower. Change your habits gradually and they’ll pay off for a lifetime.
January 4, 2012
Flirting Body Language