Millions of people have met online and gotten married. Online dating can be a great source of dates – Provided you can create attraction in the women you’re messaging. It’s only too common for men to go on internet dating sites, send a dozen messages and get no response.
These online flirting tips will help. Here’s how to not only create connection, but attraction and curiosity.
Start With Your Photos
Women are very similar to men in the way they treat photos on dating sites. They’ll take a look at your photos and instantly judge whether or not they’re interested in you. Women can tell a lot about a man from just a few photos. Does he know how to dress? Is he a confident person? Am I physically attracted?
When you’re choosing photos, try to create a dynamic mix. For example, one might be of you with your friends on the beach, another photo might be you in a business suit teaching a seminar. Try to put photos of you that show different aspects of your personality.
And of course, only put up photos that make you look great. Have a professional photographer do your photos if possible.
Before You Initiate Contact
Before you send her anything, read her profile carefully.
Women hate getting generic messages. It’s very common for men to “blast” out messages that aren’t personalized at all. This is a surefire way to get turned down.
Instead, read her profile carefully. Note anything that you can comment on. In addition to noting facts, also try to get a sense for her overall personality and who she is as a person.
What to Say When Making Contact
The two most important things in your message are your subject line and the first sentence of your email. If your subject line and first sentence don’t get her curious, she won’t pay much attention to the rest of your message.
Your subject line should try to “break” rapport instead of “seek” rapport. In other words, try to tease her a little right off the bat. This will help your message stand out from the dozen other messages in her inbox.
For example:
Bad: I Like Star Wars Too!
Good: Did You Really Watch Star Wars 9 Times?
Bad: The Alchemist is My Favorite Book Too
Good: Wow, you really seem to read *a lot*!
Of course, you can’t keep up the teasing tone throughout your entire email. But by breaking rapport in the subject instead of trying to find commonality, you get her curious enough to open your email. She’ll think – “Who is this guy?”
The Contents of Your Email
Your email should do a few things. First, it should set a flirtatious context to the conversation. Second, it should start moving things forward to an in person meet as quickly as possible.
It’s very common for guys to start exchanging information through online dating messages. Things like “where are you from?” “what are you studying?” “where do you work?” and so on.
While it’s okay to exchange a bit of information, this can quickly turn the vibe of the conversation from flirtatious to job interview.
Instead, try to establish a rhythm of both mild teasing and complimenting. Tell her that you love the fact that she can cook, but tease her lightly for something else. Flirt with her, don’t just exchange information.
Every email should move towards an in person meeting. For example, after the first message, you might ask for her IM contact so you can chat in real time. Then you might ask for her phone number so you can talk. Then arrange an in person meet.
Don’t spend weeks talking on the online dating site. Not only is this a waste of time, it sends the signal that you don’t have the balls to go for what you want. Instead, always try to move the interaction towards an in person meeting. Women want to know the interaction is going somewhere as well.
If you follow these online flirting tips, you’ll be able to consistently generate attraction with women online and meet them in person for dates.
January 4, 2012
Online Flirting and Attraction